The miserable ones are the ones where all the girls auditioning are in the same room. There’s no talking in those rooms. I’ve tried. Yesterday I had to do an interview. I was in a horrible mood. I couldn’t think of basic words. I could see my publicist in the background, mouthing things to say. They want you to be likable all the time, and I’m just not.
I finally know who John Green makes me think of
he totally looks like Jimmy Neutron
but grown up
the hair and everything
I heard this so much in 2007.
And then I didn’t hear it anymore.
And I started thinking, you know, maybe I don’t look like Jimmy Neutron anymore.
I still do.
I am laughing so much
10 Signs Your Kitty Actually Loves You
Ever wondered if your kitty really loves you? From finicky to feisty, our feline friends aren’t always the easiest to read. Unlike dogs who make their affection for us loud and clear, cats have far less obvious ways of communicating how they feel. If you want to discover just how much your cat cares about you, then check out these 10 signs of true love.
1. Head butting. If a person were to do it to you, then you’d have a pretty good idea of what they were trying to tell you, but with a cat it’s a whole different story. To be on the receiving end of what is actually known in the cat world as ‘head bunting‘ is a very special privilege indeed. During this exchange your cat deposits facial pheromones that represent their feelings of trust and safety they have with you.
2. Powerful purrs. Cats purr for all sorts of reasons, but there is one unique full bodied rumble that your kitty saves exclusively for their true love. Purring also lowers your kitty’s heart rate and helps them to relax and exhibit feelings of contentment.
3. Love bites. If your cat is a chronic nibbler, then chances are they’ve got a thing for you. It’s pretty easy to tell the difference between a love bite and a regular cat bite, one hurts and the other tickles! Nibbling isn’t a common sign of love, but when a cat employs it, they’re trying to say “you’re awesome.”
4. Tail twitching. You can tell a lot by looking at a cat’s tail. Just as their tails puff out when they get scared or agitated, their tail will twitch at the very tip when they are feeling bliss. If you notice this action when your cat approaches you, then you can be sure that they think you rock their world.
5. Tummy up. When your cat throws itself on the floor and starts rolling around, they are trying to get your attention. Cats only show their tummies voluntarily to those they can trust. Feeling safe means a lot to a cat, so when they sprawl out in front of you, this is a sign that they feel loved and protected.
6. Licking your hair or ears. It’s not often that humans are deemed worthy of these very special grooming sessions, but if your cat has chosen to bestow you with hair or ear licking, rest assured you have been welcomed into the inner circle. Grooming is one of the most obvious signs of the friendship and trust you have with your furry companion.
7. Kneading. Kittens knead against their mothers to stimulate milk production, which is why experts believe that kneading behaviour in cats is nostalgic of kittenhood and acts as a way of reliving the happy moments they experienced as little ones. So next time your kitty starts moving its paws up and down on you, remember that they are not just trying to soften you up before taking a nap, but that they’re expressing their adoration for you.
8. Slow blinking. It is said that cats kiss with their eyes, so don’t expect to share this sign of affection with any old cat. Cats save eye contact for people they know and trust. If that eye contact is coupled with slow blinking then you’ve just received a kitty kiss. Return the love by mimicking the behavior.
9. Nap time. Kitties crave warm safe places to sleep, so if your fluffy feline decides to snuggle down beside you or better yet, on your lap, then you should feel especially honored. Cats are most vulnerable when they are sleeping, and there is no greater compliment than when they choose you as their snooze spot.
10. Gifting. There is no denying that a small dead something is not at the top of our wishlist, but a kitty that presents you with this bounty deserves to be praised. Despite our domestication, cats still have the inner hunter and sharing their prizes with you is a sign of true friendship.
If you’ve been fortunate enough to share your life with a cat, then you’ll understand that they are consciously connecting with us. Whether it’s via grooming, purring or snuggling up, cats are loving and affectionate individuals that form very special bonds with their favorite people.
Fox News headlines v. real headlines, part 2425183.
The brunette part is really important.
Fun fact, our hair color reveals our place in pansexual society. Blondes are our record keepers. The great librarians, they collect, analyze, store, and distribute information to the rest of us. They are blonde because they reflect the light of knowledge. Those with Black Hair are our inventors. They investigate, produce, and teach new technologies so that we may thrive in future times. Their hair is black because of their frequent dives into the void of the unknown. Burnettes are our ambassadors. They interact with people, plants, and animals, forging bonds that can protect us when we are threatened. Their hair is brown because of their deep connection to the earth.
And as for redheads.
You don’t want to know the purpose of the Red Heads. But may their hellfire consume our enemies.
WHAT THE FUCK MAN?!?!? YOU’RE JUST GOING TO TELL EVERYBODY ABOUT THE COLOR CODING??? DO YOU WANT ALL OF OUR REPRESENTATIVES ASSASSINATED????
See the thing about being an evil villain is that instead of letting your inner demons fester and weaken you, you can control them and ride your majestic, winged beasts of terror into battle against your enemies
I think I need this, lettered in a beautiful font, to hang at my desk.
Ask and you shall receive. -gets her pretty pens-
im gonna go to bed at ten tonight
someone who did not go to bed at ten and never will (via letsmakeloaf)
i went to marks&spencer shopping for foodstuffs and they had cookies in a pretty jar so of course i bought them (because JAR) expecting, y’know, small scottish shortbread cookies
then i opened the jar and there are 6 giant cookies probably as big as my head not even kidding
1. dip a spoon of gallium in a glass of hot water
2. make a bubble with smoke instead of air
3. dissolve the tablet in weightlessness
4. set fire to the energy-saving lamp
5. push two identical clouds of smoke
6. create a vacuum in the empty tank
7. set fire to the smoke from the candles
8. overturn the glass with smoke
9. pour the hot solution in a plastic cup [x]
I always thought #6 was an invisible hulk.